It is easy to live in the past state of mind. The past is familiar which makes it feel comfortable. This comfort zone of living in the past is dangerous. It is good to look back and feel proud of your accomplishments. Those things happened and you deserve to give yourself credit for those positive accomplishments. There are things in our past that are also traumatic. These are the things we brush aside or place in a file of the mind never to be opened again. It is unrealistic to live in a past state of mind without being fully true to yourself that the past wasn’t always so pleasant.
I have spent the majority of my life focusing on only positives. I do believe that it is good to seek positivity in life. However, we have to be honest with ourselves that life isn’t always positive. There is a balance of positive and negative like the symbolic yin and yang in Chinese philosophy. There is a quote by Tao Te Ching that describes yin and yang very clearly. He said, “When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created. When people see things as good, evil is created. Being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short define each other. High and low oppose each other. Fore and aft follow each other.”
When you experience deep lows in life you are allowing yourself to reach new heights. The low parts in life can be overwhelming but you have to stop resisting the pain and allow yourself to feel it fully no matter how badly it hurts. This sounds crazy that I’m telling you to embrace pain but that embrace will be your only way out of the pain. You will find that when you completely let loose of that pain by crying uncontrollably, you are actually in the process of letting the pain go.
After this release, you will find that the pain is not as severe as when it began. You will feel mentally and physically lighter. That heavy weight you were holding onto called pain is now a lighter weight leading to light. Give yourself time to release no matter how long it lasts. This process is not dwelling on the pain, it is dealing with the pain. Once you deal with the pain, you allow yourself to truly move on from it. Lighten and organize your x-files in your mind. Face your demons and welcome them. Your demons are here to teach you something just like your angels.
Have love instead of fear for these traumatic memories. Allow yourself to move forward. Picture a forest fire, it is devastating to see the trees burning and dying. But what happens after the fire settles? Fresh, bright green sprouts begin to emerge from the ashes. The ashes nourish the new growth. This is what happens to us. Parts of us need to ‘die’ to be able to allow room for new growth. You might learn that past old coping mechanisms no longer work for you and that is part of letting go. Once we truly let go of pain, we will experience even greater highs and happiness that we never could even imagine to feel before. Let go to allow yourself an even happier life. Let go to make more accomplishments. Let go of the old and live in the new present state of mind, it is here right now and it is the real truth of yourself.