For five years I have studied yoga, Buddhism, The Gita, The Sutras and my Bible. I fooled myself into thinking that attachment was a completely controllable aspect of my experience with humanity. Sure I could give up my familiar comforts and break my materialistic ways. My attachment to my beliefs softened and I became more accepting and my rigidness yielded to metta. But can I use my newfound strength and understanding to face the death of a loved one and not fall apart?
I recently told my mother in law who is caring for her dying husband that this is Gods will and that we need to soften our attachment to expectations on life and dying. We’ve had over a month to say our good byes and to let him know that we appreciated what a great grandpa he is to our kids. As he clings to life, suffering and in pain; I can only hope for him to have comfort and dignity. My sense of compassion is much deeper and more productive than ever. I think have a good handle on it.
Then impermanence strikes, my beloved Aunt passed suddenly and without warning yesterday. The feeling of shock and sadness are overwhelming. I thought I had a good grasp on my emotions, in a way I guess I do. My sadness comes as I think of her families pain and my mom’s devastation. The sadness that I feel is not born of my feelings of loss but of empathizing with their pain. I understand that her spiritual existence is freed of the chains of humanity and that she is on the way to a much better place.
Maybe it is just a little easier when we have a chance to say good bye. It makes me more aware of how important it is to be present and to take the opportunity to tell people how much they mean to you while you can. If there has been distance and negativity in your relationships, forgive and let it go. Seek ways to at least be at peace with what you can’t change. Acceptance and a lack of attachment do come in handy here. Some people will never come around and seek unity and peace, as long as you put it out they can chose to take it or not, but at least you will be okay.
Tricia is a suburban Detroiter, health and wellness supporter and founder of Chakra Chic LLC. A yoga teacher, mad scientist foodie, counselor and blogger; she shares her love and light with those who don’t even know that they need it. Her classes are built around an exploration of the deeper meaning of the connection that we have to ourselves, are laced with loving kindness and encourage truthfulness. When she isn’t teaching yoga, practicing yoga, or caring for her family, she is concocting in the kitchen, attempts to garden, develops content for her website, reads and cherishes time with great friends. You can find Tricia on Facebook, or on her website .